You probably like them don't you? You think they're really good, well they aren't, they are shit.
Like, they seem like they might be good. A over the top camp spectacle fronted by a gay Middle Eastern man becomming one of the biggest bands in history should be brilliant shouldn't it? It's just a pity that Queen spoil it all by being shit.
George Zach is a comedian, he is sometimes on telly when they need to speak to a Greek man about a political issue he barely understands and absolutely never on telly doing comedy. He can not fathom me not liking Queen, he can only process it by assuming I'm only saying it to get a reaction.
I think that this is because he comes from a culture where there is very little alternative music, I think, to him, guitar music is all onething and Queen are huge so they must be the best. We can discount his views because he is an idiot.
Their legacy is one of sucking up to royalty (Brian May (A man so vain he married himself) playing the National anthem for the Queen and managing to make it sound even more of a dirge) and playing in South Africa during apartheid.
But what about the songs? The songs are great! They aren't though are they? Bohemian Rhapsody regularly tops lists of 'Best 100 songs ever' that are voted on by people who are wrong. What an over long piece of sixth form poetry hippy shit that is.
Scara fucking mouche indeed.
Sure, they can play their instruments really well but do they have to constantly prove it so incessantly? Does every song have to have tedious guitar solos all over and last for about seven hours?
New rule. If you're a guitarist and think "I could put a lengthy guitar solo in here!" burn your guitar and hands.
I don't think a single band has improved by knowing how to play instruments well. Like all people who are correct, I reckon Definitely Maybe is class. Then right, they sacked the drummer, just because he wasn't that good at the drums, and slowly started to become proper cocaine riddled musicians. At that point,'Be Here Now' became inevitable.
Most of all though. Queen just sound shit.
I hate you Queen. I hate that a band that were rightly piloried for years are now accepted as one of the greats even though they are pretty much a comedy version of rock music. They are to rock music what Space where to Britpop but without having a single song half as good as Avenging Angels.
Mostly though, I hate the idea that rock music is more worthwhile inthe first place. People go on about the disposability of pop music when, actually a catchy song is way more long lasting than some frigging drum solo.
Fans of Yes or Creedance Clearwater Revival or whatever, ued to go "Yeah, but will people still be listening to Lulu in 40 years time?"
Yeah lads, they are.
Sing 'Shout' by Lulu
"WWWEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL You know you make me wanna shout!"
now, sing any of the tracks from 'Tales From Topographic Oceans' by Yes.
Fuck you Yes! You haven't even stood the test of time, even though you definitely thought you would you dicks!
There is not a single song that Queen ever wrote that you enjoy as much as The Scatman by Scatman John is there? You don't want to admit it but I'm right aren't I?
Queen are shit. I hate them. The best thing they ever did was reform with a new singer.At least that's bound to have annoyed some Queen fans.
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!