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I saw Andi Peters in France.

Not enough people are impressed by this.

Look, I've just been to Jersey. It was good. You should go to Jersey for the following reasons: 1. It is nearby for a holiday destination. This only applies if you live near to it.

2. It is warm. Or it was the days I went there and this is all of the information with regards to the weather that I have at hand.

3. You can pop over to France.

4. Andi Peters was in France.

5. They corden off bits of sea to be a swimming pool.

6. Other reasons that I don't have time to go into right now.

So, Andi Peters right.

Thing is, I have no strong feelings towards Andi Peters, he seems perfectly fine at presenting fluffy TV. I'll give him that.

But, you know where you expect to see Andi Peters? England. You know where you don't expect to see Andi Peters? France. You know where I saw Andi Peters? France. No shit. I watched him for ages. He walked to the camera, then said a thing, then comedically scurried to his left and, I have to say, he did it perfectly well. I also remembered Margerita Pracatan. I have decided to start using 'Pracatan!' as a catchphrase although I will almost certainly never actually do this.

Sometimes I see celebrities in the street. Here are examples: Nicola Strurgeon, in Scotland. This is where I would expect to see her so it wasn't as exciting. She just walked into a building, without a care in the world. Mad innit? Duncan Bannatyne, in Darlington, on a train station. I nodded at him and expected him to nod back, as though we were both saying "I know who you are." But he didn't because, as I had momentarily forgotten, I am not famous.

I did a gig and Spuggy off Byker Grove was there. If anything, Spuggy is more impressive than Andi Peters but people are less impressed by this. As though Spuggy goes to gigs every night, which I very much doubt. Also, I once saw Peter Beardsley look at a 'Best of Peter Beardsley' video in HMV in the 90s. Oh, and I saw Jimmy Savile do the Great North Run once. Fair play to him, he managed to concentrate on the race despite numerous distractions.

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